Five hand-me-those-Tums days have passed since the friar of franks, California’s own Joey Chestnut, won his sixth consecutive Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest.
Sixty-eight was the count. In 10 minutes. Bun and all.
That’s like taking Charles Barkley to a dozen baseball games, the obvious difference being that the old Round Mound could pace his feasting over a duration of no less than nine innings every time.
Even in our obesity-threatened country, it’s harmless setting aside a few moments to devote to televised gluttony. Observers can watch, wince and think to themselves how many franks they might be able to put down in the allotted time.
Chestnut did 68. I’d be fortunate to get 6.8. Or 3.8 unless the necessary condiments are within reach (set the mustard and ketchup right over there, please).
The world’s King of Coneys is only 28. Meanwhile, Chestnut’s intestines are 81. If able to sidestep a lifetime of bleeding ulcers and emergency room heart paddles, Chestnut might be able to continue his July 4 dominance well into the next decade.
All hail the King. Just, please, quit calling this a sport.
Andrews on the move
You would have thought the earth stopped spinning last week when it was announced sideline reporter Erin Andrews exited ESPN for Fox Sports.
Andrews has gone on record as saying she sought to broaden herself professionally, to improve in the areas only she is able to pinpoint. Fox Sports apparently gives her this chance largely because she can assist with NFL coverage for the first time in her career.
We can respect this, the obvious drawback being no matter how much Andrews progresses journalistically, she will always be known for her looks.
Is it fair? No.
But that’s life. It plays by its own rules.
It doesn’t matter if Andrews evolves to the point of becoming a female Al Michaels (now there’s a visual), one of the things that has helped open doors in front of her is going to prevent her from gaining further respect for her broadcasting and interviewing talents.
I’ll go out on a limb here and say I don’t think Howard Cosell or Curt Gowdy had this problem.
Nash and Kobe
The ageless Steve Nash is one of the NBA’s more entertaining players, what with his distribute-first, shoot-second mentality.
The problem, of course, is that by being a member of the largely marginal Phoenix Suns since 2004, fans here in the Midwest haven’t been granted too many opportunities to witness his backcourt brilliance.
That changes in 2012-13, now that the veteran point guard, a two-time league Most Valuable Player, is a Los Angeles Laker.
Steve, meet Jack Nicholson. Jack, meet Steve Nash.
Nash, even at 38, is going to make his new team better. Nonetheless, look for the Lakers to still be no better than the second-best ballclub in the Western Conference behind Oklahoma City.
Mike Beas is a sports writer for the Daily Journal, a sister newspaper of The Republic. Send comments to email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org.
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