Dear Amy: My son and his family recently took a two-week trip. I volunteered to watch their three large dogs in my small, 900-square-foot home while they were away.
One week after their return, I then asked them to watch my (one) dog for three days.
They said, “We can’t have him here because he chases our cat.”
My daughter-in-law said she was willing to stay at my house after work to care for my dog, but that meant that my dog would be alone all day.
My son is a stay-at-home dad, so someone is always home there.
I’m so hurt. My son says my thinking is skewed, and that his wife was trying to make everyone happy. It is her cat.
I have been very helpful to them, and yet they can’t do this one thing I ask of them?! Is my thinking skewed?
— Very Upset
Dear Upset: Yes, your daughter-in-law’s cat is probably more important than your dog — to her — just as your dog is obviously more important than her cat — to you.
You are conflating many huge financial gifts and favors you have done for this family with their inability (or unwillingness) to take care of your dog under the conditions you want.
If you conveyed this to them, they might be willing to put their cat into a kennel for three days so your dog can roam free on their property.
If you don’t want to financially help this family, then stop. Your help seems to have become a burden for you when they don’t express their gratitude through reciprocation.
Dear Amy: I have a beautiful and wonderful girlfriend. I’m 63 and she’s 51, and we’re getting pretty serious about this relationship.
However, she has a thing for motorcycles (I don’t). She doesn’t want to get her own bike (she doesn’t know how to operate one and doesn’t have a motorcycle license), but she feels like from time to time riding on the back of another man’s motorcycle would give her that sexual charge and rush.
She had done this a few times before we met.
I have grave concerns about this. I don’t want us to fight or split up because she desires this, but I think of the dangers of motorcycle riding, especially on another man’s bike.
I’m a car guy. She enjoys riding with me in my truck. Over all we have a pretty good romance. We can see us getting married, but this motorcycle thing is a speed bump to me.
This woman checks off all the boxes for me except for riding with another guy (or gal) on a motorcycle.
— Concerned
Dear Concerned: I don’t want to start a vehicle war, but there is nothing sexier than riding with your guy (or gal) in a pickup truck. Take her parking in the moonlight.
What I’m suggesting is that you two should take her desires into account, but see if you can do so in a way that includes you both.
Who knows? Maybe horseback riding, or running around on a tandem Vespa, would do the trick.
Always wear your helmets.
Dear Amy: “Responsible Mom” told of her son hitting the neighbor’s mailbox while the father was “teaching” him to drive. Unfortunately, the dad was looking at his own cellphone at the time!
I’m with you on this — the father should take responsibility for the accident.
— Experienced Parent
Dear Parent: When a learning driver doesn’t even get out of the driveway safely, it’s on the teacher.
