Dear Amy: I’m a man in my late-20s, living in New York City with a friend, who is the same age. We’ve been roommates for a couple of years.
My roommate, “Charles,” was seeing a woman until about three weeks ago, when she broke things off. Despite this being a fairly brief relationship, Charles took it very hard and started drinking very heavily.
Time has passed since then, but his drinking habits continue.
It’s at the point where he starts drinking in the morning, and brings a bottle with him when we hang out in public.
How can I approach him and let him know that this is a problem?
How do I help him avoid hitting rock bottom before he stops this self-destructive behavior?
— Worried Roomie
Dear Worried: If your roommate brings an open bottle with him and drinks in public places, then he is breaking the law. New York City has an “open container” law, making this illegal. Bringing this up is a way in to talking to him about his drinking.
Your reluctance to talk about this openly means that he is not facing any natural consequences.
If you don’t want to spend time out with him when he’s drinking or drunk, you should say so. You say, “Whoa, how much have you had to drink today? You are too wasted for me to hang out with.”
You can also say, “You have a drinking problem. I’m worried about you.”
