Dear Amy: My boyfriend is extremely discerning, and I am not. When he cooks something, it’s after he’s watched 50 YouTube videos and read up on the history of the dish so that he knows the backstory of every aspect of it.
I enjoy cooking, but I keep it simple. Everything “Boyfriend” does has to be the best, the fanciest, the most gourmet, and while he’s never said anything insulting, I can feel him look down on the simpler way I do things.
This happens with everything. When we watch a movie, I don’t analyze it as much as he does. When we drink coffee, I can’t taste the difference in acidity as well as he does.
I’m basically OK with things that are … mediocre.
I love this man very much, but I constantly feel out of my league. Sometimes I can let go and just learn from him because he does know so much, but most times it makes me feel inadequate.
What can I do to make the relationship seem more balanced? Am I just out of my league?
— Middlin’
Dear Middlin’: If your guy were only an obsessive cook I’d suggest that you sit back and enjoy his expertise. But, according to you, his demand for “excellence” applies to ALL things.
In some respects, I feel sorry for the guy. He will never know the exquisite joy of a ballpark hotdog, topped with sauerkraut and bright yellow mustard. He will never “get” the steering wheel thumping ecstasy of a great Katy Perry hook.
