Dear Amy: My parents were raised dirt-poor. They popped out baby after baby even though they couldn’t afford to feed or properly house us. My folks had numerous opportunities to improve our lot in life and passed them all over.
I remember spending many winter nights as a child sobbing under my scavenged blanket because I was hungry and freezing because our wood stove had gone cold.
I worked all through high school, worked two jobs to put myself through college, and got a professional job that paid all my bills and some to spare. Thirty years later, I’m married, and our house and cars are paid off. Though we’re far from rich, we have everything we need.
Now in their 70s, my parents have nothing. The shack I was raised in was condemned and my husband and I put them up in an apartment rather than see them homeless.
My husband has always supported my overdeveloped sense of responsibility, but I know he’s frustrated and a little angry, too. What do we do?
— Not a Retirement Fund
Dear Funders: I understand your conflicted feelings about your parents, who didn’t provide adequately for their children, but are now basically shameless (you feel) in terms of their expectations.
You need to wean your parents away from being your sole responsibility.
