Client stalks therapist, combing through records

Dear Amy: I’m working as a banker at a local branch. I have been going to the same therapist for nearly three years. She has helped me beyond words.

Here lies the issue: I am technically stalking her.

My therapist banks where I work. I have access to her accounts and check daily, observing her spending habits. I am also privy to her personal information; address, date of birth and social security number, although I have not searched for her home.

I am mortified with my behavior, yet I find myself unable to stop.

I would be absolutely devastated if she knew — and I can only assume she would terminate our relationship. I can’t talk to anyone about this. Help!

— Secretive Searcher

Dear Searcher: Stop.

This is highly unethical. Your employer has entrusted you with this vital and important information. You are abusing this trust.

I shared your question with Lori Gottlieb, a psychotherapist and author of the memoir: “Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, HER Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed” (2019, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt).

She responds: “It’s natural to be curious about your therapist, especially because it can feel like such a one-sided relationship. Your daily monitoring of her accounts, though, goes beyond simple curiosity.”