Dear Amy: I met a lady on an internet site two years ago, and four months later, we were married. Everything was wonderful at first.
I found out that she had been in the country illegally, but by then I had fallen in love and decided to claim her for legal status. She received the legal papers four months ago, so she is a citizen now.
I work as a registered nurse on the night shift, so my salary is enough to take care of a normal household.
For our first Christmas together, she asked for liposuction, at a cost of $7,600.
I told her that I didn’t have that kind of money
She refuses to work.
At first, she told me that she would work when she got legal status. Now that she has the right to work, she tells me that she will only look for employment when she is ready.
Last year, we argued over her wanting to spend money on overseas trips.
Three months ago, I got the surprise of my life when my wife’s 31-year-old son turned up. He has no place to stay, and she asked me if he could move in with us for a period of six months.
I agreed.
Now that her son is living with us, she has become more argumentative, demanding and distant. Now, she is asking me to buy her a car, even though she doesn’t know how to drive.
Do you have any advice for me?
— Taken
Dear Taken: Take that money you’ve been saving for your wife’s liposuction, and get yourself a lawyer. You should take every measure possible to legally protect yourself and your finances.
Dear Amy: I’m responding to “Trapped,” who needed a way to cut short office visits with her boss, “Mr. Talky Pants.”
In addition to your idea that she set an alarm on her phone, Trapped could get a free phone app and can set up a fake call to come in at a designated time. Some apps even let the user record a message, ostensibly what the “caller” is saying in real time.
The phone rings, Trapped reflexively glances at the phone, gasps and (holding the phone up so the fake contact info can be seen), apologizes to Mr. Talky Pants, saying that they need to take the call.
With practice Trapped can time breaks in the message to respond with stuff like:
“Hello, Bob, did you get the report?”
“Hmm … I’ll need to go to my desk and check on that.”
“OK, I’ll get back with you in a couple minutes.”
Again, mix it up. Start off slow. Be sure to reject some calls (not all calls are emergencies). Gradually increase the alarms and calls, and only occasionally indulge in the boss’s monologues.
— Been There, Done That
Dear Been There: This is bananas. While I enjoy and am amused by this idea — generally the more elaborate the deception, the more dramatic its failure will be.
Dear Amy: “Worried Mother” was facing the prospect of her young children spending summer days with their disruptive, violent teen cousin at daycare.
While I agreed with your expression of concern regarding this situation, you should have urged this worried mother to find alternate daycare for her children for the summer.
— Concerned
Dear Concerned: I agree with you, although it is the teen who really needs an alternative.
