Dear Amy: Last year, my 16-year-old son came out as bisexual.
He is still struggling with this. My family has mainly been supportive. The problem is my sister. She likes to start arguments by making statements that are racist or homophobic.
My son was afraid to tell her. He was afraid that she would not let him see his young cousins if she knew. He finally asked me to tell her.
When I told my sister about my son, her first comment was, “I’ve thought he was gay ever since he was in elementary school.” Her second comment was, “I don’t want my kids exposed to that sort of thing.”
Amy, she said she needs to “protect her children’s innocence.”
At that point, I uninvited her from family events. She claims I am being hateful.
I don’t want my son exposed to a family member who feels that way about him, but would like to have a relationship with my niece and nephew. Any insights?
— Mama Bear
Dear Mama Bear: I’m wondering why you and your son felt the need to disclose his sexuality to your homophobic sister.
I suggest that the time for you to “protect” him might have been before this disclosure, by emphasizing to him that if he didn’t feel ready to disclose this, he shouldn’t have you do it.
If your sister has the gall to ask your son not to be gay in front of her children, you could ask her in return to stop spewing prejudice and hate in front of yours.
