Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I have lived together for four years. He is in his 20s and I am in my early 30s.
We are working and struggling to get by. I never had any problem trusting him until recently.
He suddenly started hiding his phone and going out more without me. He used to always just leave his phone lying around. I never even looked through his phone, but when he started hiding it, I felt like something was wrong. He also started mentioning a female co-worker.
I asked what was going on. He denies anything is happening. He let me see the phone, but he had deleted all of his texts — sent and received.
I’m having a hard time believing him. He said he had a work event one day, but I found out later that this work event had actually happened on the previous day.
And if there is nothing going on (like he says), then why is he lying?
Should I break up with him because I don’t trust him, or should I try to work on things?
— Confused
Dear Confused: Every red flag for infidelity — cellphone secrecy, going out more often without you and lying about his whereabouts — is flapping in the breeze. You seem to have taken on the burden of proving what your gut is telling you, as well as “working on things” to repair the relationship. But he’s the person who needs to work on things. Aside from denying that he is stepping out on you, is he working to rebuild trust?
