Dear Amy: My 22-year-old daughter has moved back home after graduating from college. She has a job. Recently she let me know that I am not being respectful to her.
Every weekend she takes off for parts unknown (to me), with people also largely unknown (to me).
I text her in the morning and evening, just to check in.
She is highly offended by this, calling me intrusive. She says I am not treating her like an adult.
She has said that until she can move out, I am forbidden to ask her where she’s going and who she is with.
I get it, Amy. I need to stay in my lane. This is a learning/adjustment for me as well.
My husband avoids conflict and supports our daughter’s side.
I’m asking for some advice on how to save our relationship before it is ruined.
— Wondering Mother
Dear Mother: You might be acting like a slightly overprotective parent, but your daughter is acting like a typical adolescent.
You should stop walking on eggshells. The two of you should communicate about your mutual expectations.
Your daughter wants to be treated like an adult, and so she should start behaving like one.
In my household, if one of our young adults is living with us (there are five and they have each landed at home for varied durations), they know they are expected to provide a basic outline of where they are — and a time frame of when they will be home.
