Dear Amy: I am a father with three kids, living in a very “gossipy” town.
My family life seemed to be ideal, but then I learned that my wife was having an affair for the last two years of our 16-year marriage. I was completely blindsided.
A year ago, I was out to dinner with a colleague. “Bradley.” Because Brad and his wife and kids recently moved away, I assumed he was with a family member or colleague while he was visiting.
They were doing shots, and the body language became intimate, and very inappropriate for a married man out with a woman who is not his wife.
I left that night and never told anyone about it.
Recently, however, I overheard from several other people that they, too, have witnessed Brad and this other woman.
I do not know Brad’s wife, but I feel compelled to do something.
Should I tell the wife? Should I confront Brad and give him a chance to come clean with her?
— Cheated Upon
Dear Cheated: If you believe these various reports amount to confirmation, and if your experience tells you that informing the wife is the most ethical choice, then you should find a way to tell her.
This is most tricky when the person in the know is a friend of one of the affected parties. You are not. You don’t seem to have a stake in the outcome. So yes, I agree that you should inform her.
