Granted, a building janitor would know far more about the squeaks of a freshly mopped and waxed floor than the sound of a holiday ghost slamming a door or two.
So forgive local actor Tim Staggs’ clueless cleanup character named Wilbur, asked to do a job he knows nothing about: serving as the radio station sound-effects man for the rollicking comedy “A Christmas Carol: The Radio Show.”
He’s hardly a sweeping success, and therein lies some of the laughs.
“It’s OK that I don’t always know what I’m doing,” Staggs said of his slapstick-style antics. “Because I’m not supposed to know what I’m doing.”
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The alternative production, first introduced locally at The Harlequin Theatre inside the local FairOaks Mall four years ago, returns this weekend and next at the 120-seat venue for a super-kinetic, frantic trip through a classic story while offering the audience a Dickens of a time.
The premise of the production is built on a 1940s radio station’s plan to offer the classic tale to a listening audience Dec. 24. Before the radio staff can fully grasp that a major snowstorm has kept its actors from arriving at the station, two people in the studio realize that their original idea must be as altered as Scrooge’s attitude.
In fact, the replacement station announcer, played by Hay-Smith, and the last-minute station sound-effects man, played by Tim Staggs, end up having to tend to a blizzard of details to keep the show-must-go-on attitude. In fact, Hay-Smith plays 18 characters with a variety of brogues and accents while Staggs uses a whimsical array of props to mimic howling wind, horse hooves and much more.
When it comes to mimicking footsteps on crunchy snow, Staggs reaches for a bag of Frosted Flakes and presses shoes on them. Except, the other night, he reached for the Frosted Flakes because, well, as Tony the Tiger says, they’re great — to battle hunger during rehearsal.
“I know,” said an apologetic Staggs. “I’m eating the props.”
“Apparently, as far as he’s concerned, he’s going to be walking through his breakfast,” Hay-Smith quipped.
Venue owner Hay-Smith, a native of England, can appreciate the readers-theater work as well as anyone. He played Tiny Tim in a 1951 NBC-TV live presentation of the standard “A Christmas Carol,” with Dickens’ great-granddaughter in the cast.
“I still can remember so much of that,” he said.
Hay-Smith said he “adores” this version of the classic tale, with the local version featuring an ample supply of local whimsical creator Terry Clark’s handmade set pieces, including drainpipes and Altoid tins turned into microphones.
“If it weren’t for the original ‘A Christmas Carol,’ Christmas for many wouldn’t be what is today,” Hay-Smith said. “It really wouldn’t. It would have remained a fairly quiet, religious ceremony and holiday. ‘A Christmas Carol’ is all about giving and friendliness and charity.”
And a change of heart.
Hay-Smith mentioned that, because of bright stage lighting, actors at the Harlequin’s intimate setting generally cannot clearly see audience members just 20 feet away. But, in case of displeased viewers, he swears with a semi-straight face that he can easily make out something else.
“The thrown vegetables,” he said, “actually catch the light as they’re coming at you.”
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What: The readers-theater presentation of the comic drama, "A Christmas Carol: The Radio Play," by David Alberts.
When: 7 p.m. Friday and Saturday and Dec. 21 and 22
Where: The Harlequin Theatre inside the FairOaks Mall, 2380 25th St. in Columbus.
Concessions: Cash bar available.
Tickets: $15 in advance at the theater or the mall office or Viewpoint Books downtown. $20 at the door. Children 12 and younger, $10.
Information: 812-343-4597 or theharlequintheatre.com.
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