Dear Amy: Our next-door neighbor is widowed and in her 80s.
She has no family nearby, so I often help her with small tasks such as changing light bulbs, shoveling snow, etc.
She is very nice, and we get along well.
Recently she posted a radical, right-wing political ad on her Facebook page, which I found highly offensive. I do not want to help her out anymore.
I know I cannot change her, but how can I deal with my anger?
— Furious Neighbor
Dear Furious: You are a good neighbor. I hope you feel proud of the role you have played in your neighbor’s life. Many neighbors are unsung heroes in the everyday lives and care of older people.
One way to deal with your anger is to find a way to express it.
I hope it is obvious to you that your elderly neighbor may not know how to use social media. Her FB page might have been hijacked or used by someone else. She may have shared this post accidentally. Or yes, she may actually agree with the content in this ad.
Rather than simply and mysteriously withdraw from this relationship, you should respect her enough to be honest with her.
Bring your laptop or phone to her house and try this: “Maude, I need to be honest with you about something. See this? I think this is really hurtful. It’s offensive to me. And it bothers me. Can you tell me why you posted this?”