Last autumn I sat at my desk, watching a video that highlighted moms passing out free hugs at a Pride Festival. Moms, dads and pastors lined the streets with signs announcing, “free hugs.”
This may not seem like a big deal, but it was phenomenal. The hugs had a profound effect on both the receiver and the giver and it impacted me.
I thought about my own daughters and how much they loved receiving mom hugs. I thought about my LGBTQ+ friends who were not always accepted by their families. I was ready to sign up.
When the date was announced for the Second Annual Columbus Pride Festival, I marked my calendar, posted my intentions on Facebook and invited others to join me. I created my sign proclaiming “Free Mom Hugs,” all in rainbow letters, and waited for the day.
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When the day came, I arrived with my husband 15 minutes early. Vendors were already milling about, applying the finishing touches to their booths and festival goers were beginning to arrive. I quickly formulated a plan to walk a circuit from the library plaza, around the booths, through the vendor area and then back up the sidewalk.
I am an extrovert, but, to be honest, as I began my first circuit, I quickly realized this was going to push me outside of my comfort zone. Here I am, all 5 feet, 5 inches of me, walking through a crowd proclaiming I would give out hugs to whoever asked. I had to open myself up and be vulnerable to strangers. And I had made the decision that my hugs were not going to be the “bro hug” or polite variety. These were going to be hugs that said you are loved beyond measure, the type you give when you haven’t seen someone in years, genuine mom hugs as if they were my children.
The day was overwhelming and surprising. I could not have imagined how many people would ask for a mom hug. I hugged children as young as 4, teens, other moms, young adults and even a police officer. Every circuit I made brought people exclaiming, “I want a mom hug!”, or others shyly approaching with arms extended. When a group of teens would approach, asking for a hug, some would run right up eager to receive a hug, but some held back – that is until they saw the warm embraces their friends were receiving. Then they immediately lined up too.
My sign proclaimed in three words that I was a safe place where they could receive compassion, share their heart and find solace. Some didn’t speak, but put their heads in the crook of my neck, some rocking side to side, some gently rubbing their fingers back and forth on my shoulder as they hugged. Things my own daughters would do when hugging me.
Hugs open our hearts and bring out our vulnerability. One young teen told me she couldn’t remember the last time her mom had hugged her. A mother asked for a hug as her gay son had passed away last year and she simply wanted a hug from another mother. One young lady told me her family had disowned her.
Every time I released the embrace, no matter if the recipients were melancholy or joyful, I teared up. Hugs can be extremely powerful. They make us vulnerable, creating a close connection to another person. When we hug, we are close enough to feel a heartbeat. Hugs are highly personal and intimate. They are an avenue for giving and receiving love and compassion and everyone needs to know they are loved.
I realized that not only did I make myself available to those asking for a hug, but they were making themselves open to me. Being vulnerable is not easy, but it allows you to see yourself more clearly. It demands bravery, but the rewards can be great.
As the afternoon progressed, my emotions were building below the surface, threatening to overflow. As an empath, I deeply feel what others are feeling. I was on the verge of tears several times that afternoon. This river of emotions took me a few days to process following the festival. I thought of how everyone needs to know they are loved. We often say that, but do we become vulnerable and show it. Do our actions back up our words. God calls us to love. "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” (John 13:34) This is how we can be recognized as followers of Christ. Love is powerful. It is why God choose to save us — because he loved us that much.
My prayer is that those who received hugs walked away knowing that someone cared; that they had value and worth.
From the experience, I’ve learned a great deal. I’ve learned I can be completely open and vulnerable and find the joy in doing so. I’ve seen honest hearts that need to know they are loved. I’ve learned the impact you can have through compassion.
One person can’t do everything, but they can do something. One hug at a time, I can show compassion and be a catalyst for change.
Kimberly Hoffman is a published children’s author who resides in Columbus. She can be reached at khoffmanauthor@gmail.com.
