They’re all tied up at 2-2 and this year is the grudge match.
Well, maybe not the grudge match, but a good-natured battle to reign supreme in roller derby.
A dozen or so Columbus firefighters will once again take to the roller derby floor at Columbus Skateland to challenge the local TerrorZ roller derby team to raise money for a cause dear to all their hearts, the Columbus Firemen’s Cheer Fund. The Cheer Fund provides gifts for more than 1,400 children in need at Christmas each year.
This year’s matchup will be at 6:30 p.m. Sept. 8 at Columbus Skateland, 2660 N. Talley Road. Admission is $5 with children age 10 and younger admitted free. And bring a few extra bucks for refreshments and to vote for your favorite team because in addition to the regular roller derby score, fans can add a point to the team total for every dollar they donate.
Columbus firefighter Ben Noblitt is candid about how the firefighters have been able to best the TerrorZ in two out of four previous fundraising matches, which are called Skates and Ladders.
“There has been some controversy over our wins,” he said, with a laugh. “You can vote for us at $1 a point and we’ve been able to beat them that way — we have gotten the fan favorite vote.”
“Yeah, it’s 2-2 with an asterisk,” said Morticia At’ems, a TerrorZ team member who also goes by Erin Padgett. “They had to ‘buy’ their wins.”
The firefighters are fan favorites because they add a hefty (and we do mean heavyweight) dose of comic relief on skates, according to the TerrorZ, a team made up engineers, doctors, attorneys, educators and others from southern Indiana.
“I always say that this is roller derby mixed with ‘The Three Stooges’,” Padgett said. “They (the firefighters) are so dramatic and their falls — their falls are so big. It echoes in the building when they fall. It is so funny.”
Roller derby is a skating contact sport on an oval track with five players per team, made up of one jammer and four blockers. Points are scored by having your jammer pass the other team members. The blockers try to stop the opposite team’s jammer from scoring points. A game is made up of a series of “jams” in which the jammer points are tallied.
There are falls, shoves, wild skating moves — at one match a photographer captured firefighter Noblitt flying across the floor, hence his roller derby name “Flying Squirrel.” But the firefighters usually always get back up and back on the oval.
Contestants wear knee and elbow pads, along with helmets, but even with all that protection, there is no guarantee that someone won’t get hurt. The TerrorZ have practices with the firefighters, teaching them how to fall safely, as the firefighters re-learn how to skate on an oval with some very competitive roller derby women.
“It’s all about technique,” Padgett said of the skill of roller derby. “The majority of these guys only skate maybe one time a year for this event. It’s about leverage and body mechanics.”
To make it more of an even contest, Padgett said the TerrorZ dial the competition down to the elementary parts of roller derby for Skates and Ladders, “so we don’t hurt them.”
Luckily, most, if not all the firefighters are emergency medical technicians, and many are paramedics. The firefighters make sure to bring an ambulance along for the match, just in case.
“I keep saying, when are we going to actually play them in real roller derby,” Padgett said. “But then I remember we need them the next day to be the heroes for the community as firefighters.”
Noblitt has high praise for the TerrorZ competitors, noting the team picked up a sponsorship from NASCAR champion Tony Stewart, who helped them out to provide new helmets and whose logo graces the TerrorZ jerseys on match day.
The firefighters are hopeful some Stewart fans in addition to TerrorZ fans will be at the match, broadening its attendance base.
The Skates and Ladders match brings in about $2,000 for the Cheer Fund each year, and has grown to the second highest fundraising event for the firefighters, just behind the annual chili cookoff, Noblitt said.
Noblitt promised some surprises on the firefighters team, saying there may be some competitors and fire department fan favorites coming out of retirement to skate this year. On the firefighters roster are five unnamed “secret weapon” competitors to be revealed at the event.
“We’re hoping a lot more people come out this year to support the Cheer Fund,” he said.
Padgett said the TerrorZ are delighted to once again help the firefighters raise funds to help kids at Christmas — and all the good-natured ribbing is all in fun, and for a good cause.
“It’s the only bout of the year when people are out their laughing (during the jam),” Padgett said. “It’s a mess, but it’s a loveable mess.”
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What: Skates and Ladders, a roller derby match between the TerrorZ and the Columbus Fire Department
When: 6:30 p.m. Sept. 8, doors open at 6 p.m.
Where: Columbus Skateland, 2660 N. Talley Road
How much: $5, children age 10 and younger are admitted free
Proceeds: Money raised at the event will be donated to the Columbus Firemen’s Cheer Fund, which provides toys to needy children at Christmas
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To learn more about the Columbus Firemen’s Cheer Fund, visit https://www.columbus.in.gov/fire/programs-events/cheer-fund/
To learn more about the TerrorZ Roller Derby team, visit: https://www.terrorzrollerderby.com/
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TERRORZ:
Twitch Blade – Annette Deaton
Soul Crusher – Heidi Gundle
Cindy DropHer – Jaime Graham
Poison Ivy – Krystal Dufek
JRam – Jennifer Ramech
DevILLish – Devon Daniel
Adelea the Hun – Adelea Dobbins
Jersey SheDevil – Melissa Lemmerman
Lucky Harm – Heather Noblitt
Kauzin Payne – Amber Payne
Violent Emme – Kelli Adams
Spaz Attack – Beth Lemmerman
Morticia At-ems – Erin Padgett
Katniss Evermean – Sarah Clark
Em-Mortal – Darla Rorick
ZomBrie Dust – Brie Newton
COLUMBUS FIREFIGHTERS:
The Flying Squirrel – Ben Noblitt
Road Block – Brad Williams
MVP – Seth Burton
Manic – Daniel Merz
Ginger Snap – Ben Spencer
Happy Killmore – Chris Owens
Live Action – Nick Tuttle
8 Pac – Nathan Barnett
Greenwood – Brandon Flick
Grunestick – Marcus Grunner
And five "secret weapon" firefighters to be named at the event
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