Most people think that the health of a marriage is determined by how many conflicts there are between a couple. This is not true.
The health of a marriage is determined by how a couple resolves its conflicts, and this is where its good health or maturity shines through.
Since we are human beings, there will always be things that couples will not agree on. This is reality. This does not make our spouse our enemy, but conflicts do have to be resolved.
There’s no one on Earth that we will ever totally agree with. It doesn’t matter how much we love and are committed to each other.
But we are talking about something different here, our enemies. I believe the Bible teaches that a follower of Jesus is spirituality mature if he loves his enemies. Similar to marriages in this way, this is where our maturity or good spiritual health will shine through.
There was a time when I use to laugh on the inside at people who are smug. People who look down on others and who seemingly wear a sign on their forehead that reads, “I am more holy than thou because I haven’t done what people say you have done, whether you have or have not.”
Instead of seeing these people as ignorant and self deceiving, especially, if they profess to be followers of Jesus, I can now love them, pray for them and have pity on them. The way I interpret Scripture, the true test of whether a person is a mature believer in Christ is if he truly loves his enemies.
Last winter, I unexpectedly ran into someone who once lied about me to other people. At the time, I wasn’t given an opportunity to speak on my behalf, as the Book of Matthew teaches we are to be given the opportunity to do, for there are two sides to every story. Then, only that person, God and I knew the truth about the situation, but only one side was listened to.
Sometimes I think about how it must grieve God and make him sad when we human beings are able to sway others into believing something a person says is true, when in truth it is a lie.
Jeremiah 17:9-10 reads, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to his conduct…”
I could tell that this person was very uncomfortable seeing me, but you know what? It was easy for me to see that they are held captive and weighed down by their own lie. I, however, could sincerely smile from my heart at them because I live in the freedom that only Christ can give in situations like these. I can truly love them and I am thankful that though the person is still stuck, I was able to move on. Hallelujah!
Romans 12:19-23 reads, “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”
I do not wish to be held captive by another person’s sin, and I thank God today for the truth of his word, the Bible.
What about you? Do you consider yourself to be a mature follower of Jesus? The key word here is mature.
Maturity in Christ takes more than praying, reading the Bible, doing good deeds and forgiving those who we think have wronged us. I believe, above many other things, it takes obedience to the Biblical mandate of “loving our enemies.”
Who are your enemies and do you truly love them as Christ does?
Nita Evans of Columbus is owner of Confidential Christian Counseling, focusing her work especially with ministry leaders and their families. She also is a Columbus Police Department chaplain and a national retreat and conference speaker. Her devotional book, “Legacy of Faith: Walking With Jesus Come What May” is now available at facebook.com/speacialspeaker to benefit the local Clarity. She can be reached at 812-614-7838 or by visiting specialspeaker.com. All opinions expressed in Faith & Community columns are those of the writer.
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Beginning Oct. 3 from 10 to 11:15 a.m., Confidential Christian Counseling will be offering a 24-week study on the Book of Acts, "Seeing God’s Power In Action" at 2310 N National Road in Columbus. This will be lead by Christian counselor Nita Evans.
Signup is now through Oct 3 at 812-614-7838 or nitaevans@sbcglobal.
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