The mockers have no idea that Kimber Knapp has buried three children, and a monstrous grief that stretched 13 years.
Those who laugh at her standing most weekdays since August at the corner of National Road and Central Avenue in Columbus have no clue that she nearly died in November 2006 during her last childbirth, in which Kadentz Mills, her second twin daughter, died before she was born — days after her sister, Haven, was stillborn.
And those who happily honk may never know that depression and darkness that stalked her after the deaths of her babies (her son, Landon, died in her arms 10 minutes after delivery on July 13, 2005).
Knapp, 42, understands that some wonder why people reach for something crazy like meth. She will tell you that she did so because she felt out of options and out of hope.
The Columbus resident knows deep, searing pain, emotionally and physically. And she wants people to know that Jesus delivered her from meth addiction after she shared her heart and tears out of the blue with a staff member one day at Columbus First Assembly several years ago. Knapp was driving around town, torn and needing a listener, and that was where they let her inside.
She had tried two other churches, but their doors were locked. Someone at that congregation listened for two hours to a story that sounds nearly surreal — and then they prayed for her.
She was not yet a Christian then. She became one a few years ago.
Two years ago, she was baptized, and felt her long-held heartbreak miraculously lift.
"Jesus has brought me out of all this," Knapp said. "He put joy in me. He has me here for a reason. I have survived because of his hand. He has told me, ‘You’re mine. And I’m never letting you go.’"
She said God impressed upon her nine months ago to begin to stand on the sidewalk at that very corner with signs for Matthew 4:17 and John 3:3.
Matthew 4:17 reads: "From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand." And John 3:3 states: "Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God."
Just the other day, in the early afternoon, her silent message earned several motorists’ happy honks, with the loudest and longest from a big rig driver who looked her way, laid on his horn and waved.
Other days, people have driven past her and then quickly turned around, parked in the vacant car lot at the corner, walked up and asked point-blank, "What drives you to do this?"
She understands a spiritual answer hardly will suffice for those searching for the everyday practical.
"I am just a vessel of His work," she sometimes will say. "And that means I am submitted to him."
Knapp also hopes that people come to the Christian faith after seeing her public stand.
There is no time to tell them that a bad car crash in May 2008 left her with spinal cord injuries and a physical ability to work only part-time as a weekend security guard. An implanted spinal stimulator helps the pain. She purposely avoids telling questioners that she forces herself to stand despite pain in her hip and elsewhere.
In 2011, Columbus Regional Health’s rehabilitation staff honored her at their annual awards ceremony for her determined recovery and "a grace and faith that is rarely seen."
Besides, something else pains her more than her disabilities.
"I grieve for the lost," she said.
Her most recent concern has been for high schoolers after hearing of some who struggle with substance abuse.
Knapp’s everyday evangelism has also taken on a new measure: collecting Bibles in the trunk of her Mazda 6 parked a few feet away.
"The father has impressed upon me that they will be needed this summer," she said.
So she figures she will remain at her post for a while — until she feels God leading otherwise.
"I would say this probably takes a boldness," Knapp said. "But it’s Jesus’ boldness, not mine. He gets the glory."
She never worries what other people think.
"It’s not ever about that," Knapp said. "It’s not ever about me at all. If this helps even just one to come to the father, then it’s worth it."
Yes, some hassle her, but, "Some hang out the window and shout," she said, chuckling. "Some are angry. Some tell me to go home. I just simply pray, ‘Forgive them, Lord.’"
Knapp follows such situations with a beaming smile. She said she concerns herself instead with what her father in heaven thinks.
One of her Facebook posts summarizes all that pretty well. It reads: "Be the kind of woman who knows that her confidence is not in who she knows, who she’s dating, or who she went to school with, but who she is in Christ."
