Dear Amy: My mother and my brother keep bringing up trips they want to take with us.
I’ve been on trips with them before, and I’m never going to go again.
Both of them are prone to explosive meltdowns that are excruciating to be part of.
I can handle them for a short evening, but that’s it.
The idea of traveling with them is very stressful to me.
I also don’t want my 11-year-old daughter to have the stress of traveling with them.
I keep dodging their requests.
My response is: “Go ahead and go by yourselves, and report back.”
They are not taking the hint.
Telling them straight up that we’re not going to go a trip with them will cause of huge emotional episode, and even then, I don’t think it would sink in.
Any advice on how to have them get the message?
— Passport Denied
Dear Denied:
It’s possible that if you provide a consistent answer, they will eventually stop bothering you about it.
You can state your case without blaming these family members, thereby hoping to avoid a meltdown. You just say, “I don’t want to go. I haven’t had a good time in the past. But you two should go ahead.” Repeat as often as necessary.
Consider the fact that by staying home, you might be preserving the shreds of your relationship with these family members.
