Dear Amy: I need to know if my marriage is even worth the trouble.
I’ve been married to “Jack” for almost two years. This is a second marriage for both of us.
I have no children and Jack has two children.
When I first met him, his children were tyrants who demanded their way and made a scene when they didn’t get what they wanted.
I have since resolved this issue through tough love, boundaries and discipline, and the children have come a long way.
Now that they are better behaved, Jack thinks it is no big deal to have extra time with them at our house (hours away from their mother), without even discussing it with me.
I am allowed to work from home, and I am the one expected to be at home with them, as Jack works excessive amounts of overtime at his own job.
Am I wrong to oppose having this extra time with the children, which affects my job and free time?
— Losing It in the South
Dear Losing It: You don’t say how old these children are, but I agree with your husband that if they are doing better, you should be willing to spend more time with them.
However, “Jack” should not be parking his children with a resentful stepmother during unannounced visits. I assume that their own mother might not be particularly thrilled that her ex is bringing the children several hours to stay at your home when he isn’t even there.
