Susan Campbell
Starting today, students at my university will collect their degrees in ceremonies replete with “Pomp and Circumstance,” bagpipes, medieval academic regalia and — I hope — a confetti cannon.
This is not my first graduation, and so while I have been telling students for weeks that I will look for them at the ceremony, I know chances are slim I will actually find them. I will be onstage with other faculty members, and I have promised to heckle students as they collect their degrees, but I will say my goodbyes here.
Besides, I’ve had four years to give unasked-for advice, and anything I say at the ceremony will be forgotten, as will (most likely) the speech given by all graduation speakers everywhere, but in the interest of taking advantage of the fact that I have the mic and the students do not, let me say this:
- You have done a very big thing, and some of you are toting a very big debt over it. As an undergraduate, I never thought to question whether a college degree was worth the money or effort, mainly because without a degree my only option was a job at a local factory, where the money was better than what I made at my first newspaper job. Still, the factory’s owners moved overseas, and weeds took over the building, and that newspaper job led to the next and the next and the next. That’s how life works. Each job is a stepping stone to something else.
- And no, you cannot necessarily know what the next job — or city or vacation — will be. That’s what makes life interesting.
- Still, I am sorry you are graduating into such global uncertainty, and I do not mean to sound cavalier, but thus it has ever been. We constantly send our graduates out into a world of war, hatred, and unfairness. For that, you can thank the older generation for not reaching our potential. The Pepsi generation has proven to be a big disappointment and I’m sorry about that, too. I think I can speak for most of us when I say we’d intended to make a difference and if we did, it was incremental. I hope you accomplish so much more.
- You may be leaving college to go straight back to the same job you held before graduation, but hang on. There are better days ahead. Then, too, you may be going into a job you actually want and for which you’ve been preparing for years. Even so, understand that chances are you will not stay in this particular job. Treat your first job as an elective class and learn all you need to move on.
- The same goes for your college sweetheart. This will sound cold, but very few college romances last a lifetime. In fact, few relationships of any kind last a lifetime. That means that the friends you have now may change, and so may your politics and religion. Life is change and change is life.
- Stay strong. Adulting isn’t that challenging, despite what you may think now. Besides, some of you have been adulting for a while. I know at least one of you couch-surfed for a few weeks this spring after your mom kicked you out. Yet you never missed an assignment and I only found out later you’d been essentially homeless during midterms. Contrast that with the student who, approaching graduation, asked in class, “After graduation you just kind of — what? — kick us out?” Fortunately, the student’s classmates answered for me.
- Pick up the tab every once in a while, and definitely pick it up if your parents are at the table. They’ll fight you on this, but they will be proud.
- Get a library card. Thank me later.
- Remember how you felt when you fell behind in a class and you let things ride until it was too late? Learn from that. Pay your bills.
- If you work at a job you enjoy, the money will come. I cannot explain how that works. On the other hand …
- You will probably start your post-college life driving a beater car. This is good practice for gratitude, because one day you will be able to afford a car that starts on cold mornings and doesn’t make a weird noise when you turn right. And, though it’s probably hard to imagine now, you will look back at the first lousy car with fondness. In line with that …
- Success doesn’t necessarily mean what you think it means. You have been raised with the world literally at your fingertips but in reality, the best times rarely involve spending money.
- Climbing onto a career track is exciting, but take a breath. You have more time than you think.
- Finally, the time will come when you no longer pretend to know things because you will, in fact, actually know things. And then, if you’re lucky, you will reach a point when you realize how much you don’t know, but you won’t feel even a little bad about that. There’s a lot to be said for humility, and for learning.
Susan Campbell is the author of “Frog Hollow: Stories from an American Neighborhood,” “Tempest-Tossed: The Spirit of Isabella Beecher Hooker” and “Dating Jesus: A Story of Fundamentalism, Feminism and the American Girl.” She is distinguished lecturer at the University of New Haven (Connecticut), where she teaches journalism. This commentary previously appeared in the Journal Inquirer of Manchester, Connecticut and is distributed by Tribune Content Agency. Send comments to [email protected].
