Dear Amy: I have a history of attracting unkind, angry men. I had recently come off a two-year break from dating, when my mom’s neighbor asked me out.
I think he had been drinking before he picked me up. He brought me to a bar and started touching me and trying to kiss me. He also insisted that I drink more — and faster.
I looked him in the eyes and asked him to please stop, because it made me uncomfortable. He didn’t stop.
We then left to go to another bar where we both drank more until the bartender cut him off. I was eternally grateful because I didn’t know how to get away. I thought about taking a cab but I don’t know the area, and was scared.
Afterward, we went back to my mom’s house and fooled around. He left in the middle of the night. I felt guilty and told myself it was my fault.
What exactly do you do when speaking up and saying no isn’t enough? How do we protect ourselves from these predators who won’t listen?
How can I handle this?
— Heartsick
Dear Heartsick: You used your voice. Good for you. But never, ever, go with a drunk to the second location. What I mean is — when a drunken lout makes you uncomfortable physically, that’s when you excuse yourself, get the bartender’s attention and ask for help. You say, “I came here with this guy, but now I’m scared. Can you help me?” Do not leave the public place. Other women (and men) will help you.
