Dear Amy: I’m a 37-year-old man. My sister is nine years younger than I am.
My sister was recently looking to buy a home. She asked for my opinion. I told her the home she chose was probably too expensive. She then told me that our parents had already given her the entire down payment as a gift.
I was shocked at how much they had given her.
My parents gave my wife and me a down payment when we bought our condo. What they gave us was around 10 percent of what they gave my sister.
I asked my sister about this and she said that our folks have also been helping her to pay off her student loans, paid off a credit card debt and give her a “small” allowance each month to supplement her income.
I never received any of that support.
I asked my mom why they’ve given my sister so much more. She told me that I “understood the world much more,” was “brighter” and that I “never needed help.”
Why is it OK to give one child more than the other?
Can you help?
— Ignored Older Brother
Dear Ignored: Yes, your parents have likely been enabling your sister with various financial gifts and bailouts. Enabling inhibits growth and maturity — which leads to further bailouts.
You now need to absorb the idea that your folks have the right to spend their money however they wish, and you don’t have to like it.
