Personal hygiene is extremely important.
If Americans have learned nothing else from two-and-a-half years of battling COVID, we have learned a good hand scrub — even an occasional bath — goes a long way toward preventing disease.
We may argue about whether to wear masks or take vaccinations, but I hear of no one starting a political movement or organizing a march to promote dirty bodies.
I have never seen a restaurant buffet table with a sign saying, “To promote your personal liberty and freedom of choice, you may dip salad dressing with your hands after picking your nose, if you wish.”
Most Americans seem to believe in cleanliness, even if they agree on little else — even though forced hygiene undoubtedly is forbidden somewhere in the U.S. Constitution, if we read closely enough.
I am proud of the stance my fellow Americans have taken on this important issue. Still, I sometimes worry that a large and growing minority of Americans have taken the instructions of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention too far by haphazardly sending their brains out to be washed as well.
While having your brain washed may sound like a good idea — even fun — if done voluntarily — bad (sometimes severe) after effects may linger for years. For one thing, how do you know all of these brain laundries are on the up and up and just scrub out the harmful mental bacteria and viruses, leaving the healthy tissue in place?
Brainwashing has been around a long time. The practice first came to the attention of the American public at the close of the Korean War. Newspapers were filled with stories about American soldiers being held captive by Chinese Communists, who washed their brains to turn them against the United States.
The insidious brainwashing techniques included isolation, misinformation, lies and group indoctrination with other brainwashed prisoners to reinforce the falsehoods.
Later, the news was full of similar stories about teenagers and young adults naively drifting into one or another religious cult and being brainwashed into abandoning the religions of their parents and accepting weirdo beliefs.
Some brains were washed and reoriented to embrace cult leaders like the murderous Charles Manson and the twisted Rev. Jim Jones, leading followers to commit terrible acts of violence.
Whether done by Chinese Communists or one of the plethora of looney toons gurus, the technique was pretty much the same. Isolate the person whose brain is being washed in an alternate reality with other believers. Feed them lies and misinformation. Toss in some paranoia. Leave them feeling special as a person who knows the truths others have conspired to keep from them.
Of course, the main protection we have had from this evil variety of brainwashing has been that it was time-consuming. Sure, little brain laundries could be set up here and there, but those who wanted to wash all the sense out of people’s brains could only service a small portion of the population.
The Chinese Communists had a couple of small propaganda victories but no way to change the brains of the entire U.S. Army. Cult leaders could never gather enough brainwashed followers quickly enough to accomplish their most grandiose goals.
None of this is to say brainwashing as an exercise in good hygiene is necessarily a bad idea. Most of us have a few ideas we would do well to have washed out of our brains. The problem lies with finding ways to scrub out the prejudice, hate, lies, misconceptions and ignorance without destroying the prefrontal cortex.
Obviously, brain hygiene is not as easy as washing our hands.
Maybe someday technology will be invented that will bring us all together — giving us a place to gather, but without isolation; a place to get to know each other in peace and harmony. It could be a place dominated by thoroughly washed brains — where truth is embraced, lies are not spread, paranoia is defeated, justice is honored and ignorance is eliminated.
While I am concerned this idea is too far-fetched ever to be created, just think of how much cleaner our brains would be — how much more we would all be anchored in reality for the good of humankind.
Maybe we could call it the “Othernet.”
